The best investment strategy is simple: Buy low, sell high, and resist the urge to panic when your portfolio looks like a rollercoaster. Also, don’t take investment advice from that one uncle who ‘almost made millions in crypto.’
Yes, but only if you understand that the stock market is like dating—sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s painful, and occasionally, it completely ghosts you for months. Just remember: Diamond hands hold, paper hands fold.
Crypto is like a rollercoaster with no safety harness—thrilling, terrifying, and occasionally vomit-inducing. Invest only what you can afford to lose, and never check your portfolio before bed unless you enjoy night sweats.
If it promises "guaranteed returns" and involves wiring money to a prince from a faraway land, it’s probably a scam. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Pro tip: If your grandma thinks it's a bad idea, listen to her.
No. That’s like putting all your dating hopes into one Tinder match. Spread your investments around so that if one fails, you're not crying in your portfolio (or your pillow).
